Psych 101.......

My first Psych class........or lack thereof. It lasted an entire 19 minutes. It was scheduled for 3 hours. Now, I'm not complaining here....ok, I AM complaining. When it takes me an hour (on average) just to get to the damn class then I want something in return. More than just a syllabus that could have easily been emailed to me.

I guess I just wanted a bit more from a college class. Here's the summary of what the "professor" covered:

1.) The syllabus, which basically tells me nothing other than what chapters will be covered each class.

2.) That the quizzes are nothing to worry about and are easy; "usually 10 multiple choice questions"

3.) that we might write papers, but probably won't...........6 minutes later he assigned a paper due on Tuesday. more on that in a minute.

4.) He admitted that he feels that some of the material is dry and boring. Way to have confidence. (fyi, I couldn't tell you what his name is. That's how great of an impression this guy made on me.)

5.) He spent about 8 of the 19 minutes taking attendance, all the while fucking up just about everybody's name.

6.) Here's the part that really gets me. He said his lectures are PowerPoint based. That screams boredom to me (i.e. any class I had in the Navy). Not only that but he said he will be handing out printed versions of the same PowerPoints he will be covering. (what's the point of fucking teaching it then?) Furthermore, he said to not worry about any text in the ONE HUNDRED AND FUCKING FOURTEEN DOLLAR book that isn't covered in the PowerPoints as all the exams/quizzes will only derive from the material on said PowerPoints. What is this man really teaching that I couldn't teach myself then!??

I almost feel like having a contest with you all on guessing what the subject of the first paper is.....but I'll spare you the anticipation. 1 1/2 pages, double spaced (I haven't double spaced a paper in 20 years) on what I think of "Good Will Hunting". FML. He literally just said "watch the movie, and write a freelance paper on what parts you think might be related to the subjects covered in class." Could this be any more cliche? What's next? "The Departed"? Maybe we will do the entire Matt Damon catalogue. Hell, throw Ben Affleck in there for good measure, since he's a Red Sox fan from Cambridge.

And here I was worried about this class since its a mini semester. In other words, I have it twice a week, 3 hours a pop, for only half a semester. Then it switches to College Writing I in November. I don't think that next class will be as much of a cake walk.



So there's an election going on in Boston for mayor. I'm not going into the details, just setting up an atmosphere. I'm walking from the bus to the T at Forest Hills (spelled FORREST if you're FORREST HILLS CHECK CASHING) and I'm half paying attention to anyone. I have my headphones, probably listening to Grizzly Bear that day, and just plain old minding my own business. I notice a couple of older fellas dressed in suits that seems to be disrupting the flow of the crowd trying to get to the turnstile, kind of like the bumpers in a pinball machine. Needless to say, I'm probably one of the few white pinballs actually involved at that very moment, but I notice something interesting to me. These "bumpers" were attempting to hand out fliers. But they didn't particularly care if most of the people around me grabbed one. But I tell you, as soon as they saw a guy in a button down shirt, khaki slacks, and a corduroy suit coat (ME) they immediately tried to shove one in my hand. Before I instinctively grabbed it I realized it was a flier for the current Mayor's competition. Observing the situation I just looked at the guy and said "your candidate just lost my vote."



Ahhhhhh Lit class. I'll admit, I'm enjoying the homework and discussions more than I expected. A little Hemingway, a little Faulkner, some Poe. I'm digging it. But the ignorance is still fantastic on Friday afternoons. For starters, the professor had to explain (after drawing a U.S. map that closely resembled an utter) the history of the U.S. Civil War. Seriously. Meanwhile, our friend Randy had to chime in quite a bit about that without, of course, actually adding anything resembling a quality statement. In fact, here's a rough conversation between the professor and him.

Randy: "So do you think that there will be another Civil War?"
Prof: "You mean in like the next hundred years or so?"
Randy: "No, like in a few days. Social Security is dropping out. The recession is terrible. We are all poor. Health care is going nuts."
Prof: "That wouldn't cause a civil war. If EVERYTHING dropped out like that all at one time, then the only thing that might happen would be a revolution."
Randy: "Well, yeah, that's the same thing."
Prof: "No. Actually its not."

Hence why the professor felt the need to explain the U.S. Civil War to begin with. That made me realize how intuitive the man really is of what's going on around him.

I will say the most obnoxious, yet hysterical, comment of the class came from Angel. In a discussion about the 60's and free love, etc, Angel used the movie "Easy Rider" as an example.

Angel: "Yeah, like peace and just chillin like the movie 'Easy Rider'?"
Prof: "Did you see the ending of that movie?"
Angel: "No I haven't so don't tell me anything about it yet!"

Even I laughed a bit on that one.

for the record

Just need to point out a little something that I might not have mentioned. I may be "single" on a marital status way of looking at things, but I actually have a beautiful girlfriend I live with here in Boston. If it wasn't for her this entire college experience would be so much more difficult than it currently is.

"Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man."
- Ron Slater

Intro To Lit

Well I knew it was going to be a FANTASTIC day when I woke up sick coming out of a dream where I turned into a zombie and forced the people around me to kill me so I wouldn't infect other people. Seriously, wtf.

Also the bus to the T smelled more like piss than usual. refreshing.

So Friday I had my first class of Intro To Lit. Of all the classes I know I'll be taking in my college tenure, Literature is among those that I'm most intimidated by (grouped along with advanced math courses and college writing courses), particularly because I'm not an avid reader and when I do read its usually not something fairly thought provoking. Harry Potter and "Ric Flair: To Be The Man" just doesn't cut it. What I didn't realize is that I was actually entering a high school gym class.

First thing about the professor I liked was that he made us all sit in a circle since class discussion is going to be a large element of the class. But in the scheme of things, I think it somewhat unleashed the hounds of ignorance by giving them a stage to perform on. I don't think there were 5 minutes of uninterrupted teaching without one of 4 people stating their opinion or asking something.

1.) a kid who best resembles Angel from "Stand And Deliver". Not so much the gang banger aspect of the character, but instead having to be the one heard the most (with the most obnoxious comments) all the while an intelligent human being (I was impressed by his knowledge of poets and a textbook definition of personification. I would have lost money on that bet.)

2.) a kid best resembled by Ron Slater of "Dazed And Confused". Long hair, goatee, Megadeath t-shirt, probably smoked a bowl before coming to class, will probably do a shot of Jagermeister after class(which was a hot topic of conversation with him during the midway break)......wait I minute......I just described me two weeks ago. Either way I give him the "most irrelevant story" award by telling a story of how someone cut him off while driving and flipped him off in the process, which was apparently very funny to him. The rest of us: crickets.

3.) a kid best resembling Randy from season 4 of "The Wire" (the kid who sells black market candy in the school cafeteria). He was pretty much just egging on Angel and our number 4 contestant. Randy gets the award for "most audacity" by actually trying to haggle the length of homework from the professor. He figured the professor could "meet us halfway". Un-fucking-believable.

4.) one of my favorites. A girl who I can't find a good comparison for was the one with the best dialogue. I think I'll call her Joan Rivers for the simple fact that she liked to bring her up in conversation a number of times. My favorite remark though: During a discussion of "what makes us happy?" a number of people holler out money, love, etc. When "freedom" was yelled out she was lightning fast to retort "Not when you have a husband!". This girl can't be a day past 24. Amazing

The professor is actually quite a funny guy. He improvised a burlesque dance (since many in the class didn't know the difference between burlesque dancers and strippers), used Karen Carpenter's life as an example of anti-climax (and in doing so said "I don't make this shit up"), and also referred to the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie family as a brood (don't know why, but that seriously struck me as funny).

So the subject itself was actually quite refreshing given the atmosphere it was presented in. I looking quite forward to the discussions of short fiction, poems, and dramas that will be happening in future weeks. Not only from a learning perspective but also an entertaining one.

This also confirmed my fear: I'm a 30 year old in college with a bunch of 18 year olds. I fucking hate 18 year olds.

Music Appreciation I

I had my first class. Let the path begin.

It really wasn't a "first class" as we only discussed the syllabus and were sent home to watch Obama, which was a great gesture.

So I was the first one to arrive to class. This was expected of me since it was ingrained in my head for 9 years that "if you're early, you're on time....if you're on time, you're late." Even to this day I get all moody when I'm not arriving somewhere on time even if its just to meet friends for dinner at their house.....and most of the time they end up being later than me anyhow, so it all works out in the end.

So there I'm sitting, checking my schedule about 18 times to make sure I'm in the right room. I was pretty much convinced I wasn't just because it didn't feel right. There were pianos with piano benches all along the walls and only about 10 desks set up in a "u". I'm thinking this is technically a history class so what's with all the pianos....also I remember from when I registered that there are certainly more students signed up than just 10. By the time I said "fuck it" in my head a kid walks in and asks if its Music Appreciation. Of course I told him it was with the utmost confidence. He was also wearing a Tool t-shirt.

Meanwhile, I'm wearing a Saul Williams t-shirt. I figured I should wear something musical on my first day. Well the Tool kid walked in. Shortly followed by two other kids; one in a Beatles shirt, and another in a Doors shirt. Then walked in a guy who obviously plays guitar (we can smell our own). Then again walks in a guy who probably can't find a heavy metal band to continue life after high school with, so here he is in Music Appreciation. If you would have told me all of these kids were in the most pit with me at the NIN show at the Bowery Ballroom (FUCKING EPIC) a couple weekends ago, I would have believed you. Eventually the class filled up to 15 or so people. Most of the remaining folks were other majors so they could care less what was going on. Well except one girl who, after seeing the pianos, was deathly afraid that we had to know how to play.

The professor's name is Kingjames Bigelow. I can't make shit like this up. He's a cool cat as well. He strolls in, apparently unhappy about the classroom and the lack of readiness within it. Not from the students, but just the fact that there were people now sitting on benches from lack of desks. I mean it was a bit trashed. It kind of looked like a music geeks fight club.

I am Smock's complete lack of ability to throw a hard punch.

Kingjames starts getting to know us by asking questions like "why are we here?" or "what do we play?" and so forth. He asks me specifically what I'm majoring in. So of course I tell him I'm getting a music degree to transfer to UMASS-Lowell to get a BAA in Studio Recording. He then inquires about my interest in studio production specifically. I tell him that I've been doing home recording for some time, blah blah blah. Well the blah blah blah part must have really peaked his interest because he finds out I'm using the same software as he his (Logic Pro 8). We discuss for about 10 minutes about the software and he asks if I have any music online (i.e. Myspace). I say I do ( www.myspace.com/benjaminsmock ) but didn't advertise the URL as I so easily did just now.

By the end of the 45 minute session of class, I'm realizing that I'm the asshole who looks like he's sucking up to the teacher on the first day. I even ask questions later (because I was interested mind you) when everyone else was just sitting there. Yup. I'm that asshole. Other than that, I'm really excited for more.

now to answer questions from yesterday. ready..............go.

1. No I'm not living in a dorm.

2. I'm in a relationship, which keeps me out of a dorm, therefore I'm reaping the benefits of said relationship.

3. I'm taking all basic classes, but I am starting classes in my major as well. I did some online courses while in the navy, but none that really apply to what's happening now.

4. I'm attending Bunker Hill Community College, with the intention to transfer to UMASS-Lowell.

5. Depending on my class schedule and if they still make MLB 11 The Show for an obsolete game system (PS2), I feel it could go either way.

yours truly,

Hollis Green

...and it begins.

So here I go. My first day of full-time college.

To get you up to speed:

1.) I'm 30 years old.
2.) I served 9 years in the United States Navy, thus earning me benefits I'm currently reaping.
3.) My previous occupation was an electronic technician, but now my ultimate goal is get a BAA in Studio Recording.

I'm pretty much creating this blog to document and comment on my experience until I receive my degree. I figure it might be a bit interesting to see what its like to go to college as a non-traditionally aged student.

Well I've got about 3 hours until I take the 30 bus to the Orange Line for my first class, Music Appreciation (fitting for a first class, I must say). I'll admit, I'm nervous. I think I'm nervous for the same reason I'm ever nervous about something.....the unknown. I don't get awfully nervous about much else these days unless its a situation that I've never walked into before. This time its a little bit different because there's so much to be nervous about. Will I do well? Will I get along with the other students? Where will I sit? Will I prefer to use a pencil or pen? If I fall asleep, will I snore? Lots of things. I'm also interested in how I'll listen/look at music after I take classes like music theory, and such.

well time to shower.