"Don't peak too soon"

When I first registered for college classes this fall I felt pretty nervous about how I was going to perform. I mean, I hadn't worked parts of my brain for about 13 years.

"Will I be able to derive information from stories/poems?"

"Do I even know how to write a paper anymore?"

"Will it be hard for me to keep up with everyone else?"

"Will spelling words like 'rhythm' cease to seem difficult to the point of avoiding them all together?"


In search of these answers prior to the start of the semester I turned to some friends who I find intellectual and were noticeably jealous that I'm attending college at a less....traditional age. Well among those friends one of them, of whom will remain nameless, gave the perfect advice. Here he saw a budding new college student ready to take on the world, eager for learning, and motivated to excel. Then he put the whole thing in perspective.

"Don't peak too soon."


I'm sorry my friend, but I may be failing you.


It all started the day I took that mid-term for psychology.

>>>>>>psychology side note<<<<<<<
I found out the professor is younger than me. That hurt the team. Thanks Bunker Hill for laying it on easy my first semester.
>>>>>>psychology side note<<<<<<

I ended up getting 100% on it. Shortly after this I started noticing patterns from teachers in all of my classes. Every time I raised my hand, no matter who was already talking, they would immediately start the motion of calling on me. I became an instrument in the process of teaching...and I recognized this. When the students would go off on some tangent that didn't apply to the situation, or when they would just be interpreting literature in all types of wrong I would raise my hand. The teacher would pretty much react somehow like "ummmm, yeah Angel, that's great......yes Benjamin!?" This would allow me to not only achieve a high participation grade, but also save the professor from having to skew the class under his own power of lecture.

This has gotten a little out of hand, though, for music class. First it all started with just the fact that I wanted to make sure I participated......and then I would wait about seven seconds to see if anyone else would answer because if I didn't answer, then Kingjames would have to damn near beg us for answers. Well I finally received a new found status as "class asshole" recently when KJ said the immortal words of: "Anyone but Benjamin."

This makes me wonder that if I NEVER speak again in his class for the rest of the semester, will I receive an "A" in class participation? Have I inadvertently completed extra credit for this class already if I keep participating at this rate?

A few days later I decided during psychology class that I was going to leave early. The students (particularly one) was just too damn tough to take. I went up to the prof during break and asked if it was cool I take off because I had to run to the airport (yeah I don't really know why I picked that) and his reaction was quite literally "You have a 100% in this class, I don't really care." The following week we had the final.

>>>>>>>>>side note<<<<<<<<<<
for this class, and now my College Writing class, I chose to take them in a mini-semester format. I go twice a week for 3 hours each shortening the entire class to 7 weeks, hence why I already took the final for one of my classes.
>>>>>>>>>side note<<<<<<<<<<

He told us the final would be 75 questions. Since the 50 question mid-term was finished in 22 minutes, I quickly determined it would take me between 29-30 minutes. It took me 25. I'm not sure what I specifically scored but I received my first college grade for an entire class yesterday: an A.

...that is, I think its not too bad.

A mid-term took me 22 minutes. Before you ask what the grade was, I haven't gotten it back yet. But do you really think I'd turn that thing in if I thought I just pissed it away?

It was for Psych class. All I have to say is if anyone failed this then they should just pay me the tuition and stop going to classes because its wasting everyone else's fucking time. Remember how I said how the professor only tests the info off of his power point slides, which he hands out every week? Well he also likes to tell you what each and every question on the mid-term will cover. Not only that, he tells them sequentially. I figured that he'd at least mix-up the order, but no. So because of that, I could predict what the next answer was before even reading the question. Half the time the answer would be surrounded with answers that he already said wouldn't be on the test. I fucking love college.







On the T the other night when I was coming home from Kingjames "back to the front front to the back" Bigelow's music class, I saw a few Mormon's doing their thang. I find these people pretty amusing. Sometimes I'll talk to one and sort of lead them on for a bit just to ultimately waste their time. I spent some time in Salt Lake City a couple years back. Shit was crazy out there. I couldn't buy a beer above 3.5% before................

----we interrupt this blog to report that I think I see Pat Sajak sitting next to Michael Madson at the Angel's game-----

.....................8pm one day because I had to "wait for the polls to close". That was state wide. BUT, they have some really good food there.

Anyhow, there were two Mormon's strategically placed at each end of subway car. The Mormon I was sitting in front of was chatting with this guy who strongly resembled a crack-infested Steve Urkel, almost to the point of looking like Flavor Flav, but not THAT bad. I had my headphones on so I have no idea what was actually being said, but Urkel certainly seemed interested. I had my suspicions, though, that Urkel hadn't seen this hustle before, because you should have seen his face when the Mormon handed him a card with Jebus on it. He left on the very next stop. Society 1, Mormons 0.

Next walks on a 20 year old mother and her kid in a stroller. I notice the Mormon starting his hustle again. So I take a look at the mother and assume she's either really really tired, or high as fuck. As she's talking, her eyes only half open with every blink. The Mormon has his work cut out for him.

....well more like he was put to work. The Mormon soon started the talk, but that ended as she was fast asleep moments later. Here's the sad part. Every time the train stopped and started, the stroller would start moving. The first couple times it probably would have went all the way down the car if it wasn't for people stopping it for her. Then she would fall asleep again. What it took was for the Mormon to keep his foot behind one of the wheels until the mother magically awoke and exited the train. Society 2, Mormons 0.





I just want to declare that I didn't watch any live coverage of a big ass balloon. I was probably too busy playing Uncharted 2, the best game I've played in years.






I've been obsessed lately. If it was anything else I'd have to attend a program to make me stop. Thankfully there isn't because what I'm obsessed with is........... The Beatles. As you may or may not know, there are two types of people in the world: Elvis people or Beatles people. No one loves both. I was raised with both to listen to, but my parents only owned the greatest hits albums by Elvis, whereas they had Rubber Soul on vinyl. Later, my mom bought Help!, Sgt. Pepper, and Past Masters vol 2. They may have introduced me to some of Elvis' classics, but I specifically remember my dad turning the speakers up loud as hell just to hear "Revolution" (Past Masters) only to turn to my mom mouthing the words "TURN IT DOWN!". They may have had Elvis movies on from time to time, but it was "Help!" that my mom and I knew most of the lines to. I may recognize Elvis songs when I hear them, but it was at my boy's wedding when I heard "When I'm 64" and I cried because it reminded me of my mother.


In fact, I bet when The Beatles met Elvis, and Elvis said "Hey, I have a great voice", John Lennon probably retorted with something like this:



yeah. fuck Elvis.

So I pretty much knew anything from early Beatles through Rubber Soul. I knew a couple songs from Revolver. I knew 4 songs off of Sgt. Pepper. I had never listened to anything after that, though heard most of the singles on commercials, radio, and covers by bands I liked. I mean, the first time I had EVER heard "Strawberry Fields Forever" was on an in-store sampler while working at Sam Goody.......and it was sung by The Verve Pipe.

this is literally the version I heard:


yeah. it was like that. But now I'm repenting in a BIG way.


My girl's brother purchased the new stereo box set of The Beatles' work. He then did me a huge solid (I'm using that term out of sarcasm because I fucking hate that saying) by burning it all on cd's for me. My life for the last month has been scored by The Beatles in every aspect imaginable. I netflixed the 4 DVD anthology and watched that. George Martin, the producer of most of The Beatles music, wrote a book: I read it. Geoff Emmerick, a sound engineer on Revolver, Sgt. Pepper, and Abbey Road, wrote a book: I'm reading it. To summarize, here's what I've discovered.

- track 5 to the end of Magical Mystery Tour is some of the best music I've ever heard in my life.

- everything I love in music, these guys did without thinking about it.

- with the exception of a few songs, their entire catalogue was recorded using 4, or less, track recording. Amazing.

- I had no idea they never toured in the last half of their career.

- I think I'm 55/45 in the Paul/John ratio.

- Sgt. Pepper defines the term "groundbreaking". Pet Sounds can bite it.

- Matt Vogel, you win this round.

Frustration

Yeah so I finished an EP this week that I titled "My Better Half". I'm pretty proud of it and I hope if you get a chance to hear it that you'll find something off of it that you enjoy as well.








The ball is still rolling, but it's awfully difficult to find worthy stories to blog about when it comes to only my experience with college. Particularly when my classes are quite dull at the moment. There may be more times than most where I write a more general blog than one that is full of humor.

So for anyone that really wanted to see how my Lit class has been, here's some behind the scenes footage. Keep in mind that I had to hide the camera very carefully in order to truly capture the essence of the class.



Last Friday's class was seriously out of control. To the point that I almost walked out. I mean, we went over homework for 3 hours. homework? HOMEWORK? I'm supposed to be a franchise student and we are talking about homework? not a test. not a new chapter. but homework.

It really got me thinking about my experience thus far. I'm looking at these kids and wondering how this happened. How did these people learn to be so disrespectful toward everyone around them? I can understand if they don't want to be there, or if they were forced. But they aren't. That's what blows my mind about all of this. They pay 3-4 times as much (I don't have an inkling of an idea how much public school costs) than a high school class and they have to make the effort to actually get to class. Its not like a bus comes and picks them up right in front of their house. So after all of this money and effort, they arrive in class......and do nothing to contribute. That's fine if you want to be the guy in the back who doesn't say anything; on average a class participation grade is usually only 5% of the overall grade. But to come to class and just talk about absolutely NOTHING pertaining to the subject is downright fucking irritating.

Last week, during the first 25 minutes of class, I actually thought it was finally going to be an interesting session. We were actually discussing the stories that we had been reading, which was some thought provoking stuff ("The Lottery" and "A Rose For Emily").

But then 5-6 people walked in. yeah. 25 minutes into class. One girl was 45 minutes late. After that the professor lost all control of the class.

Here's the root of my frustration. When I was 19, living in Illinois, and enrolled to go to UCLA (University Closest to Larkin Avenue) aka Elgin Community College, I wasn't really looking forward to it. I was in great classes in high school with great kids in those classes, but I was on the bottom of the grading curve pretty much all four years of high school. My friends all wore different color sashes and shit at graduation. I was something around number 236 out of some 400 students. At the time I felt that seemed important. So here I was, enrolled for college after my poor mother spent hours upon hours digging up receipts to make a portfolio so I could receive financial aid. This entire time I'm thinking "I'm going to blow my parents money. I'm going to fuck this up and barely even make it out of classes. If I don't give a shit about high school then why would I care about college? Its harder, there's more homework, and the teachers could care less what your homework grade is."

actual high school conversation:

me: "Hey Mr. Wendling! (my math teacher for four years) What's up?"
Mr. Wendling: "Not your homework grade."

yeah that pretty much summed up my accomplishments at 19.

So I decided to go to join the navy.....literally the Friday before the Monday of my first class at UCLA. I never heard if my mom was pissed about that, but I can't imagine she wasn't very happy at the time given that she worked so hard to prove that we needed financial aid. Later my dad told me that she thought I'd never make it through boot camp. He said she figured "if he doesn't even clean his room when I tell him then why would he listen to anyone else." That, my friends is called Smock Logic. My girl, KB, created the term based on things I've said in the past year.

Smock Logic:

KB: "So are you watching Obama's acceptance speech at Grant Park?"
me: "Yup. CNN is claiming there are over a million people there right now. That can't be a million people because I've never seen a million people and that's not a million people."

Anyway.....I joined the military to grow the fuck up. To gain some responsibility for myself. Essentially because I knew I needed guidance and if I put myself in a situation where I HAD to listen and follow orders then I wouldn't fail. All I knew is that I wasn't ready for college yet, and when I would be, college would be free.

So my point is that now I'm ready. I'm excited to learn. I enjoy writing papers now. I enjoy reading things I normally wouldn't pick out for myself. I enjoy learning about classical music, psychology, and how I still can't stand Hemingway, yet I respect him. I actually WANT to learn, but I can't. Because of these damn meddling kids. And there really isn't anything I can do about it.


Sorry for the negative vibe. Here, I'll end on a happy note.

Psych 101.......

My first Psych class........or lack thereof. It lasted an entire 19 minutes. It was scheduled for 3 hours. Now, I'm not complaining here....ok, I AM complaining. When it takes me an hour (on average) just to get to the damn class then I want something in return. More than just a syllabus that could have easily been emailed to me.

I guess I just wanted a bit more from a college class. Here's the summary of what the "professor" covered:

1.) The syllabus, which basically tells me nothing other than what chapters will be covered each class.

2.) That the quizzes are nothing to worry about and are easy; "usually 10 multiple choice questions"

3.) that we might write papers, but probably won't...........6 minutes later he assigned a paper due on Tuesday. more on that in a minute.

4.) He admitted that he feels that some of the material is dry and boring. Way to have confidence. (fyi, I couldn't tell you what his name is. That's how great of an impression this guy made on me.)

5.) He spent about 8 of the 19 minutes taking attendance, all the while fucking up just about everybody's name.

6.) Here's the part that really gets me. He said his lectures are PowerPoint based. That screams boredom to me (i.e. any class I had in the Navy). Not only that but he said he will be handing out printed versions of the same PowerPoints he will be covering. (what's the point of fucking teaching it then?) Furthermore, he said to not worry about any text in the ONE HUNDRED AND FUCKING FOURTEEN DOLLAR book that isn't covered in the PowerPoints as all the exams/quizzes will only derive from the material on said PowerPoints. What is this man really teaching that I couldn't teach myself then!??

I almost feel like having a contest with you all on guessing what the subject of the first paper is.....but I'll spare you the anticipation. 1 1/2 pages, double spaced (I haven't double spaced a paper in 20 years) on what I think of "Good Will Hunting". FML. He literally just said "watch the movie, and write a freelance paper on what parts you think might be related to the subjects covered in class." Could this be any more cliche? What's next? "The Departed"? Maybe we will do the entire Matt Damon catalogue. Hell, throw Ben Affleck in there for good measure, since he's a Red Sox fan from Cambridge.

And here I was worried about this class since its a mini semester. In other words, I have it twice a week, 3 hours a pop, for only half a semester. Then it switches to College Writing I in November. I don't think that next class will be as much of a cake walk.



So there's an election going on in Boston for mayor. I'm not going into the details, just setting up an atmosphere. I'm walking from the bus to the T at Forest Hills (spelled FORREST if you're FORREST HILLS CHECK CASHING) and I'm half paying attention to anyone. I have my headphones, probably listening to Grizzly Bear that day, and just plain old minding my own business. I notice a couple of older fellas dressed in suits that seems to be disrupting the flow of the crowd trying to get to the turnstile, kind of like the bumpers in a pinball machine. Needless to say, I'm probably one of the few white pinballs actually involved at that very moment, but I notice something interesting to me. These "bumpers" were attempting to hand out fliers. But they didn't particularly care if most of the people around me grabbed one. But I tell you, as soon as they saw a guy in a button down shirt, khaki slacks, and a corduroy suit coat (ME) they immediately tried to shove one in my hand. Before I instinctively grabbed it I realized it was a flier for the current Mayor's competition. Observing the situation I just looked at the guy and said "your candidate just lost my vote."



Ahhhhhh Lit class. I'll admit, I'm enjoying the homework and discussions more than I expected. A little Hemingway, a little Faulkner, some Poe. I'm digging it. But the ignorance is still fantastic on Friday afternoons. For starters, the professor had to explain (after drawing a U.S. map that closely resembled an utter) the history of the U.S. Civil War. Seriously. Meanwhile, our friend Randy had to chime in quite a bit about that without, of course, actually adding anything resembling a quality statement. In fact, here's a rough conversation between the professor and him.

Randy: "So do you think that there will be another Civil War?"
Prof: "You mean in like the next hundred years or so?"
Randy: "No, like in a few days. Social Security is dropping out. The recession is terrible. We are all poor. Health care is going nuts."
Prof: "That wouldn't cause a civil war. If EVERYTHING dropped out like that all at one time, then the only thing that might happen would be a revolution."
Randy: "Well, yeah, that's the same thing."
Prof: "No. Actually its not."

Hence why the professor felt the need to explain the U.S. Civil War to begin with. That made me realize how intuitive the man really is of what's going on around him.

I will say the most obnoxious, yet hysterical, comment of the class came from Angel. In a discussion about the 60's and free love, etc, Angel used the movie "Easy Rider" as an example.

Angel: "Yeah, like peace and just chillin like the movie 'Easy Rider'?"
Prof: "Did you see the ending of that movie?"
Angel: "No I haven't so don't tell me anything about it yet!"

Even I laughed a bit on that one.

for the record

Just need to point out a little something that I might not have mentioned. I may be "single" on a marital status way of looking at things, but I actually have a beautiful girlfriend I live with here in Boston. If it wasn't for her this entire college experience would be so much more difficult than it currently is.

"Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man."
- Ron Slater

Intro To Lit

Well I knew it was going to be a FANTASTIC day when I woke up sick coming out of a dream where I turned into a zombie and forced the people around me to kill me so I wouldn't infect other people. Seriously, wtf.

Also the bus to the T smelled more like piss than usual. refreshing.

So Friday I had my first class of Intro To Lit. Of all the classes I know I'll be taking in my college tenure, Literature is among those that I'm most intimidated by (grouped along with advanced math courses and college writing courses), particularly because I'm not an avid reader and when I do read its usually not something fairly thought provoking. Harry Potter and "Ric Flair: To Be The Man" just doesn't cut it. What I didn't realize is that I was actually entering a high school gym class.

First thing about the professor I liked was that he made us all sit in a circle since class discussion is going to be a large element of the class. But in the scheme of things, I think it somewhat unleashed the hounds of ignorance by giving them a stage to perform on. I don't think there were 5 minutes of uninterrupted teaching without one of 4 people stating their opinion or asking something.

1.) a kid who best resembles Angel from "Stand And Deliver". Not so much the gang banger aspect of the character, but instead having to be the one heard the most (with the most obnoxious comments) all the while an intelligent human being (I was impressed by his knowledge of poets and a textbook definition of personification. I would have lost money on that bet.)

2.) a kid best resembled by Ron Slater of "Dazed And Confused". Long hair, goatee, Megadeath t-shirt, probably smoked a bowl before coming to class, will probably do a shot of Jagermeister after class(which was a hot topic of conversation with him during the midway break)......wait I minute......I just described me two weeks ago. Either way I give him the "most irrelevant story" award by telling a story of how someone cut him off while driving and flipped him off in the process, which was apparently very funny to him. The rest of us: crickets.

3.) a kid best resembling Randy from season 4 of "The Wire" (the kid who sells black market candy in the school cafeteria). He was pretty much just egging on Angel and our number 4 contestant. Randy gets the award for "most audacity" by actually trying to haggle the length of homework from the professor. He figured the professor could "meet us halfway". Un-fucking-believable.

4.) one of my favorites. A girl who I can't find a good comparison for was the one with the best dialogue. I think I'll call her Joan Rivers for the simple fact that she liked to bring her up in conversation a number of times. My favorite remark though: During a discussion of "what makes us happy?" a number of people holler out money, love, etc. When "freedom" was yelled out she was lightning fast to retort "Not when you have a husband!". This girl can't be a day past 24. Amazing

The professor is actually quite a funny guy. He improvised a burlesque dance (since many in the class didn't know the difference between burlesque dancers and strippers), used Karen Carpenter's life as an example of anti-climax (and in doing so said "I don't make this shit up"), and also referred to the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie family as a brood (don't know why, but that seriously struck me as funny).

So the subject itself was actually quite refreshing given the atmosphere it was presented in. I looking quite forward to the discussions of short fiction, poems, and dramas that will be happening in future weeks. Not only from a learning perspective but also an entertaining one.

This also confirmed my fear: I'm a 30 year old in college with a bunch of 18 year olds. I fucking hate 18 year olds.

Music Appreciation I

I had my first class. Let the path begin.

It really wasn't a "first class" as we only discussed the syllabus and were sent home to watch Obama, which was a great gesture.

So I was the first one to arrive to class. This was expected of me since it was ingrained in my head for 9 years that "if you're early, you're on time....if you're on time, you're late." Even to this day I get all moody when I'm not arriving somewhere on time even if its just to meet friends for dinner at their house.....and most of the time they end up being later than me anyhow, so it all works out in the end.

So there I'm sitting, checking my schedule about 18 times to make sure I'm in the right room. I was pretty much convinced I wasn't just because it didn't feel right. There were pianos with piano benches all along the walls and only about 10 desks set up in a "u". I'm thinking this is technically a history class so what's with all the pianos....also I remember from when I registered that there are certainly more students signed up than just 10. By the time I said "fuck it" in my head a kid walks in and asks if its Music Appreciation. Of course I told him it was with the utmost confidence. He was also wearing a Tool t-shirt.

Meanwhile, I'm wearing a Saul Williams t-shirt. I figured I should wear something musical on my first day. Well the Tool kid walked in. Shortly followed by two other kids; one in a Beatles shirt, and another in a Doors shirt. Then walked in a guy who obviously plays guitar (we can smell our own). Then again walks in a guy who probably can't find a heavy metal band to continue life after high school with, so here he is in Music Appreciation. If you would have told me all of these kids were in the most pit with me at the NIN show at the Bowery Ballroom (FUCKING EPIC) a couple weekends ago, I would have believed you. Eventually the class filled up to 15 or so people. Most of the remaining folks were other majors so they could care less what was going on. Well except one girl who, after seeing the pianos, was deathly afraid that we had to know how to play.

The professor's name is Kingjames Bigelow. I can't make shit like this up. He's a cool cat as well. He strolls in, apparently unhappy about the classroom and the lack of readiness within it. Not from the students, but just the fact that there were people now sitting on benches from lack of desks. I mean it was a bit trashed. It kind of looked like a music geeks fight club.

I am Smock's complete lack of ability to throw a hard punch.

Kingjames starts getting to know us by asking questions like "why are we here?" or "what do we play?" and so forth. He asks me specifically what I'm majoring in. So of course I tell him I'm getting a music degree to transfer to UMASS-Lowell to get a BAA in Studio Recording. He then inquires about my interest in studio production specifically. I tell him that I've been doing home recording for some time, blah blah blah. Well the blah blah blah part must have really peaked his interest because he finds out I'm using the same software as he his (Logic Pro 8). We discuss for about 10 minutes about the software and he asks if I have any music online (i.e. Myspace). I say I do ( www.myspace.com/benjaminsmock ) but didn't advertise the URL as I so easily did just now.

By the end of the 45 minute session of class, I'm realizing that I'm the asshole who looks like he's sucking up to the teacher on the first day. I even ask questions later (because I was interested mind you) when everyone else was just sitting there. Yup. I'm that asshole. Other than that, I'm really excited for more.

now to answer questions from yesterday. ready..............go.

1. No I'm not living in a dorm.

2. I'm in a relationship, which keeps me out of a dorm, therefore I'm reaping the benefits of said relationship.

3. I'm taking all basic classes, but I am starting classes in my major as well. I did some online courses while in the navy, but none that really apply to what's happening now.

4. I'm attending Bunker Hill Community College, with the intention to transfer to UMASS-Lowell.

5. Depending on my class schedule and if they still make MLB 11 The Show for an obsolete game system (PS2), I feel it could go either way.

yours truly,

Hollis Green