Long time no blog

College Writing I. This was the one class this semester that I was the most intimidated by as it took me all of my energy just to write about ANYTHING in high school. Given that this is COLLEGE Writing, I figured the stakes are higher and the effort is going to be more rigorous. It turns out this class is a fucking joke.....and its all on the shoulders of the professor. I'll call her Mrs. Doe (as in deer, not anonymity) for the sake of not being able to Google her own name.

Facts and quotes of Mrs. Doe:

- "That guy went to the word bank and came out a millionaire."

- "She took the page out of the homegirl's notebook."

- "I love Tyler Perry."

- "The woman's so ugly she can't tell she's sick."

- while taking attendance...."Sade? Oh you pronounce it Sadie? I can't believe your parents would give you a slave name like that. At least pronounce it Sade . I'll be damned if someone were to call me Bessie."

- yes. she said "slave name".

- She has only been on time for class once. Usually averages about 15 minutes late. Was something over 30 minutes late (not sure of accurate time since I left to go to the computer lab before she even arrived) and no-showed an entire class.

- Took a phone call on her cell in the middle of class. When I say the middle of class, I mean she was literally standing in the middle of class.

- Has often asked US what we are doing. Not in a "let-the-students-run-the-class" sort of way, but in a "what-the-fuck-are-we-doing-because-I-don't-have-my-shit-together" sort of way.

- She has a titanium jaw. Literally.

- Either her arm or her back is going to go next because she sure brags about herself a lot.




So yeah, I'm thankful that I only had this class for 7 weeks. ( see mini-semester description in previous post)

I was a little upset in recent class meetings because a few of the students had dropped the class and never showed again. For example, the first few classes I had this guy sitting in front of me:

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yeah, Ed from "Shawn Of The Dead". One day he walked in and smelled like straight Drakkar. I was really hoping to see him again, but alas, I underestimated his intelligence......he actually dropped the class.




"Don't Peak Too Soon" - Episode 2.

Actual conversation with my Lit teacher during break two classes ago:


Prof: May I talk to you for a minute?
Me: Sure. (what did I do...did I offend him in some way?)
Prof: What is your major?
Me: Music. (oh no, where is this going?)
Prof: Do you plan on having a double major?
Me: Haven't thought about it yet. (people actually do that in community college?)
Prof: Well how would you like to become a writing tutor?
Me: lol really? (lol, really?)
Prof: Yeah, I think you have a great style and blah blah blah blah.
Me: I have to admit that before this class I hadn't written a paper in 13 years. I don't exactly know what I'd be tutoring. (is this really fucking happening? I have to stop smoking this shit here)
Prof: Don't worry, you'll learn that.
Me: Sure, I'll do it. (fuck you Dundee-Crown High School!)